“I’m here.”
-“Yes. I’m glad.”
“I’m not sure why I’m here, but I am.”
-“I know.”
“I love these people. At least some of the time, I’m here because of them.”
-“That’s a good reason.”
“And I have history with these words, but…”
-“Yes?”
“Sometimes I wonder if it’s all really just empty – a big, old empty building, however beautiful.”
-“You’re here.”
“I am.”
-“So it’s not empty.”
“Technically, no.”
-“And if you’re here, that means I’m here, too.”
“Yeah…and I still don’t know what that means.”
-“I know, and that’s okay.”
“I’m trying, but I’m not always sure I know what the point is anymore.”
-“Showing up.”
“Showing up is the point?”
-“Can’t that be enough?”
“What do you mean?”
-“When you show up, really show up, you bring all your needs and desires and gifts with you.”
“I do, but I don’t know what to do with those needs. I don’t know what you do with those needs.”
-“I know. It’s part of the mystery of trust – that in the midst of that not knowing you still show up.”
“Does it really matter?”
-“It’s only when you show up that others can meet you in your need, and that you can meet them in theirs.”
“Yes, that matters. Even if I always wish we could do more.”
-“And that’s where I am.”
(Pause)
“What do you mean?”
-“You are my Body, broken one for another.”
“The bread…”
-“Yes. When you take the bread, don’t miss discerning my Body. That’s where I am.”
“Each other…. I think we mess up really seeing each other on a regular basis.”
-“Yes, but showing up is the beginning.”
(Pause)
“Breaking hurts.”
-“I know it does.”
“Is it really worth it – being broken for each other? Does it do any good?”
-“No one avoids it. That’s why I came, and that’s why I’m in the broken bread, too.”
“But where’s the good? For you or any of us?”
-“In the love that spills out, if you let it.”
“In the love….does love always have to mean breaking?”
-“It did for me.”
(Pause)
“Alright.”
-“Alright what?”
“I’m here. I still don’t understand, but I’m showing up and saying yes.”
-“I’m glad. I like your company.”
Leaning Out 